When I was first pregnant, I had this great idea that I was going to do a pregnancy blog and keep track of all my feelings and everything that happened. Shortly after I created the blog, I lost my baby. I stopped writing and started doing nothing but crying.
Then, on February 1, 2012, I found out that I was pregnant again. I didn't pick back up with this blog because I was so scared I would lose the baby again and I just couldn't handle talking about it. Now, almost 11 months later, I'm snuggling my perfect 12 week old boy. Dominick William was born on September 30th.
I think I want to start this up again. I want to talk about things. I want a place to put my thoughts and feelings and everything else as he grows.
Let's start this journey over again and see where it leads...
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Monday, October 3, 2011
Gone
I lost my baby.
On Friday morning I woke up with some spotting. I had some cramping during the week and it felt as though it was getting stronger, but everyone assured me that it was normal, it was my uterus growing, etc..etc… Nevermind the fact that my back was cramping too, I just hoped for the best. Still, on Friday the spotting freaked me out bad enough that I asked my husband to take me to the ER. So we went and we waited. I got an IV, they did pelvic exams, the spotting stopped, everything was looking normal. Then they did the ultrasound. It took forever to get the results back and I started getting antsy.
Eventually the doctor came in. I could tell just from looking at his face that he was bringing bad news. He told me that even though I was 8 weeks, 3 days, the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks, 2 days. I was going to need a D&E. All I could do was cry. I have never been more shattered in my life.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
I like to overshare
Seriously body? It's like you determined at the exact start of week 6 that now was going to be the time where I can't go 10 minutes without having to pee. Yes, I realize that includes in the middle of the night when I'm trying to, ya know, sleep.
At least there was a Friends marathon on Nick at Nite to keep me company in between. I guess it's good practice for when I'll be up all night with a crying baby, right?
At least there was a Friends marathon on Nick at Nite to keep me company in between. I guess it's good practice for when I'll be up all night with a crying baby, right?
Monday, September 5, 2011
Decaf
This weekend we went down the shore with some friends. On our way home, we stopped at a Dunkin Donuts. My conversation with the girl behind the counter went something like this:
Karen: Hi, I'd like an egg white flatbread and a DECAF mocha latte with skim milk.
Girl: What kind of egg white flatbread?
Karen: Decaf! Oh, err...turkey sausage.
Girl: And what kind of milk did you want in your latte again?
Karen: Decaf! ...long pause... skim
Girl: Ok that'll be $8.50
Karen: That latte, it'll be decaf right?
(5 minutes later when my latte is ready)
Karen: So this drink...you made me decaf right? Are you sure?
If they didn't spit in my drink, that's a miracle. I can get so neurotic. Still, better to be safe than sorry, right? For what it's worth, my very certainly decaf latte was delicious, although I don't think I'll be allowed back in that Dunkin Donuts anytime soon.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sharing the news
One thing that's really fun in early pregnancy is telling your family and friends. I didn't have the experience of telling my husband since he was sitting right next to me watching the test like a hawk, but we have been able to tell a few of our loved ones. The funny thing is, we had all these great creative ideas and then when the time came we were so shocked and excited we ended up pretty much blurting it out.
The first people we told were my parents. We stopped at Babies R Us and picked up two picture frames that said "I love my Grandma" and "I love my Grandpa". Then we called my parents and told them that we were in their area visiting our friends and we wanted to stop by. When we arrived, my husband told them that we had something they might get some use out of in a little while. My mom held hers upside down and only read the label on the back so she just thanked us politely and sat there. Meanwhile, my dad actually looked and the correct side and yelled out "you're pregnant?!?!?" Naturally, lots of hugging and crying followed.
Our next step was to tell Mitch's brother and sister. We decided to do that over the phone since it was late at night. He called his sister on the drive home and told her that her son was going to be the big cousin. After a few "wait, what?"s and an "are you freakin' kidding me?" she gave the phone to their brother, who was also there.
Mitch then called his friend of 14 years, who is currently 8 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child. She'd been joking around with us earlier in the week and saying how I should get pregnant too so that we could be pregnant together and we'd each have someone to talk to about it. He told her that we'd decided to take her advice and get pregnant with her. In all seriousness, though, I'm glad to have someone who is also pregnant to talk about things with.
Our final people to tell right now were two of our best friends who are more like family than friends. We went out to dinner with them on Friday and on the way through the parking lot, Mitch started talking about all of the good things they had going on in their lives. "In a little over a month, you'll be married, then you'll go on your honeymoon. Two months from now, you'll be moving into your new apartment. Then, seven months after that you'll be an aunt and uncle." Our one friend put his arms in the air Rocky style and kept walking while his fiancee yelled out "Karen's pregnant?!?!" Then he turned around with this shocked look on his face like he had just processed what we told him. It was hilarious.
For now, we're keeping this a secret from everyone else though. We just feel better keeping things quiet for now. I can't wait to tell everyone else and be able to talk about it, but for now, one thing at a time.
The first people we told were my parents. We stopped at Babies R Us and picked up two picture frames that said "I love my Grandma" and "I love my Grandpa". Then we called my parents and told them that we were in their area visiting our friends and we wanted to stop by. When we arrived, my husband told them that we had something they might get some use out of in a little while. My mom held hers upside down and only read the label on the back so she just thanked us politely and sat there. Meanwhile, my dad actually looked and the correct side and yelled out "you're pregnant?!?!?" Naturally, lots of hugging and crying followed.
Our next step was to tell Mitch's brother and sister. We decided to do that over the phone since it was late at night. He called his sister on the drive home and told her that her son was going to be the big cousin. After a few "wait, what?"s and an "are you freakin' kidding me?" she gave the phone to their brother, who was also there.
Mitch then called his friend of 14 years, who is currently 8 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child. She'd been joking around with us earlier in the week and saying how I should get pregnant too so that we could be pregnant together and we'd each have someone to talk to about it. He told her that we'd decided to take her advice and get pregnant with her. In all seriousness, though, I'm glad to have someone who is also pregnant to talk about things with.
Our final people to tell right now were two of our best friends who are more like family than friends. We went out to dinner with them on Friday and on the way through the parking lot, Mitch started talking about all of the good things they had going on in their lives. "In a little over a month, you'll be married, then you'll go on your honeymoon. Two months from now, you'll be moving into your new apartment. Then, seven months after that you'll be an aunt and uncle." Our one friend put his arms in the air Rocky style and kept walking while his fiancee yelled out "Karen's pregnant?!?!" Then he turned around with this shocked look on his face like he had just processed what we told him. It was hilarious.
For now, we're keeping this a secret from everyone else though. We just feel better keeping things quiet for now. I can't wait to tell everyone else and be able to talk about it, but for now, one thing at a time.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Something is ending and something begins
Wow, this is my first post in my pregnancy blog(!!!) I can't believe it.
I though this would be a great place to keep track of everything I am experiencing during this exciting, crazy, scary time and to hopefully share with my family and friends later on. Even though we found out on Wednesday, it still hasn't sunk in yet. I am going to be a mom. Wow.
I'm sure everyone wonders if we were trying, in fact, I'm waiting for someone to ask me that. I hate that question since, lets face it, we all know how babies are made. The best answer I can give is, sort of. We weren't not trying or anything. One thing I did not expect was to get pregnant on the first try. Sure, I've heard of people that has happened to, but I figured they were the exception, not the rule. So when my usually super reliable period was a day late this month I just assumed that it was coming. Then on Wednesday, my husband asked me to take a pregnancy test just to humor him. I did figuring that it was guaranteed to come back negative, after all, I knew my period was coming. When the test said "pregnant" (it was one of those digital ones) I swore I was reading it wrong and that the shadows were just blocking out the word "not" before the pregnant. Then my husband jumped up and hugged me and I realized it was real. I think I said "Oh my God" over and over for about 5 minutes before I realized what was happening.
Apparently, I am 4 weeks along and my baby is currently the size of a poppy seed. Even though he/she is still so tiny, I love him/her with everything I have.
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